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More wedding things...

This is my new dream wedding gown, a silk-tulle gown from J. Crew.



Accompanied with this fabulous bouquet of a variety of wildflowers...


With "Oh My Love" by John Lennon playing during me & my husband's first dance as married lovers!

Oh, I love to dream...

Dream Wedding Venue

ANGEL ORENSANZ FOUNDATION

Money, Honey

Once again, I am left wondering where all my money has gone. I don't have any new clothes, I don't have any new movies, and my belly is empty. So why is my bank account empty?? I just found out today that my camera is un-fixable and it would be a waste for me to even pay to get someone to attempt to fix it. The Wolf Camera guy simply advised me to "just buy a new one." Terrific. I have no money and no memories of what I've been doing with my money. Thanks, life.

Back to the Present

Lately, I've been thinking. Which for me, is not a good sign. The way I live my life allows me to not have to think very often, if even at all. But when I do get to thinking, it almost always has to do with just that--my life. I love my life. It's definitely not a perfect life, but I love living it anyways. I laugh a lot in my life, and laughing is one thing that I think most lives lack. Mine is overloaded of laughter. However, is all laughter and no seriousness good for a life? Is all play and no work a successful way to live? Being a college student, "play" is what I spend most of my time doing. My future is just around the corner, and I'm still stuck in a bar or in my pajamas because I'm still not ready to grow up. I want to be in college forever. I go to school during the day. I go out on the town at night. I get $200 a month from my parents, and I make $60 a week at my job. I have no responsibility and no motivation. And I love it. I could do this forever and be perfectly happy. But then there's this little thing called "the future." In the future, I dream of working in the movie industry, living in L.A. in my modern-decorated house, driving my flashy car, wearing some Ray-Bans to match my designer jeans that hug my toned ass. But to me, that future is only a dream. It's not something that will actually happen. I have no future. I don't look in the future because there are too many things that stand in the way of it. I don't know where I'll be in five years because I don't know where I'll be in five days, in five hours, in five minutes. All I'm sure of is what is happening to me now. Where I am now. If we are expected to plan for the future, how do we ever live our lives? Are we supposed to just let the present life pass on by while we hope to reach a successful future? In reality, planning for the future is a waste of time. The world is full of too many obstacles to guarantee us a spot in the future. Tragedy doesn't wait for the future to play itself out before it strikes. Tragedy lives in the moment. And so should we. Right now, I am confident that everything I am doing is exactly what I want to do right this moment. And in the future, I hope I'm still this confident.

"Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on."

We Don't Live Here Anymore

On my last unnecessary excursion to McKay's, I purchased an indie film titled, "We Don't Live Here Anymore." The simple cast of four included Laura Dern, Naomi Watts, Peter Krause, and the sexy Mark Ruffalo. The plot circled around these two couples (Dern & Ruffalo and Watts & Krause) and their intertwined love affairs. As Ruffalo and Watts express their physical lust for each other in secret, Dern and Krause experiment with each others' bodies and emotions as well. Eventually the affairs expand beyond secrecy, and the underlying truths of each failed relationship are revealed. Just as you think you have predicted the demise of the relationships (as well as the plot of the story), Ruffalo decides to stay with his wife and work on rescuing the happiness they once shared. Not only does the movie portray the typical disconnected and disfunctional marriages, but it also brings a new idea to the sorry surface of our current culture--reconciliation. Falling out of love with someone is portrayed as so common and so easy. And if such a thing happens, what are you supposed to do? Pack your bags and say, "Sorry it didn't work out. Have a nice life!"?? This movie gives a different alternative. Love just happens. Keeping that love in tact and in great condition takes a bit of effort. But if done for the right reasons, it's really worth it. I know I'll never get married (mainly to avoid the domestic duties and annoying anniversary celebrations), but I think it might be nice to have a little love to work on. Don't you think?

My Future in Film

Along with my manic obsession with owning films, I find myself searching endlessly to discover each and every movie that is definitely or is rumored to be reaching the cinemas in the future. And luckily, I'm really good at finding them! These are my most recent cinematic discoveries. Boy, does my future look bright!

The Dress Is All That Matters

I have never been a girl to research or obsess over any aspect of my future wedding day. However, recently I have really been into looking at wedding dresses. For the record, I do not ever plan on sealing the deal with anyone in this lifetime, and I actually disagree with the entire institute and tradition of marriage in general. I think it is an outrageous process that in most cases ruins a couples' relationship. But that's besides the point. Wedding dresses are in fact beautiful and awe-inspiring. The two recent dresses that I have fallen in love with come from Vera Wang's 2009 Bridal collection. Take a gander, why don't ya??

Way Behind

Classes are starting, and I am still stuck in the middle of the summer. For some reason, I can't motivate or push myself to organize my life in order to get back in the routine of school. My room is a disaster. The first day of school I got soaked from the monsoon, and all my new notebooks got drenched. Now I have 5 syllabi in on my desktop that I have yet to read or print off. I need to buy my books. I need to do my homework. I need to shower. I need to get a hair cut. I need, I need , I NEED TO GET MY LIFE TOGETHER! Yet still...All I want to do is drink and pass out into a deep slumber, with no alarm set to wake me up. I guess being a Junior kind of requires a bit more motivation and determination. In that case, I wish I was a freshman.

Beach Bound, Baby!

I'm done with summer classes. I'm over the nightlife of Knoxville. I'm annoyed with almost everyone. This family vacation can't come soon enough! For the first time in the 12 years that my family and I have taken our annual trip to Myrtle Beach, I have counted the days until our departure. This is the first summer I have spent residing in a completely different house and city than my family. I wouldn't take back any second of it, but I am so thankful that we worked it out so that we can all take this vacation together. I cherish the misty mornings on the beach, the homeade deli sandwich lunches, the countless hours in the sun, the reading time in the hammock, the multi-colored nights on the pier listening to the local band, and the quality time with my younger brother. I never fail to find myself wishing to stay at the beach one more day, one more night, one more minute before returning home. There's something about being away from home, away from familiar faces that makes the sunshine and the waves seem even more inviting and attractive. I never want to leave.

EW!!! Annoying...

Everyone has those few things that can REALLY push their buttons, really tick them off, really ruin their day. I, myself, have plenty. As positive as I try to be and as easy going as I am, sometimes those little bitty ticks can really throw off my entire day. Thus, my only solitude is to VENT! Here goes...my recent annoyance.

*Although I'm not the cleanest person, I do have my own sense of organization of my personal space--most importantly, my movie collection. They are alphabetized from left to right and can only be touched by others under my supervision. Therefore, when I come home after a long day or a short errand and find that a movie is missing without my knowledge of who took it, I go irate. That means that not only did an unidentified human take a movie without asking or informing me, but that same human also entered my personal bedroom and possible touched or took something else lying astray. And honestly, I don't have the best trust issues. So coming to terms with the idea of someone unknown trespassing in my 12 by 12 foot excuse for a room is not something I'm prepared to do. If I had the money and ability to install an alarm system around my movie collection, you can bet I'd have the top-of-the-line brand scaling every inch it--complete with a password, fingerprint scanner, and voice identifier. Everyone has their own pride and joy. Mine just happens to be my films, and I guard them with my life.

10 Guilty Pleasures

These are ten of my many guilty pleasures:

(1) Laying in a warm, comfy bundle of down comforter, just thinking, with nothing to do all day.

(2) Buying DVD’s. I get such a good feeling after making a new DVD purchase.

(3) Eating thin crust pizza. It tastes amazing and doesn’t fill me up, so I can eat as much as my taste buds can handle.

(4) The first sizzling sip of a freshly opened can of Sprite and feeling the carbonated burn run down my throat.

(5) Rocking in a hammock on a breezy sunny day.

(6) Waking up around 9:00 am at the beach and smelling the salt in the breeze and feeling this moisture in the air.

(7) Taking the first three sips of a mixed drink. The sharp tang of the alcohol is unexpected, yet guarantees an interesting evening.

(8) The feeling of sweat trickling down the side of my face, making me feel dirty yet accomplished.

(9) Being sick or ill, because then I can get out of doing anything all day long without having to struggle to think of a legitimate excuse.

(10) Reuniting with old friends or family members and telling funny stories of all our times together in the past. It always makes me grateful for where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and who I am.