More wedding things...

This is my new dream wedding gown, a silk-tulle gown from J. Crew.



Accompanied with this fabulous bouquet of a variety of wildflowers...


With "Oh My Love" by John Lennon playing during me & my husband's first dance as married lovers!

Oh, I love to dream...

Dream Wedding Venue

ANGEL ORENSANZ FOUNDATION

Money, Honey

Once again, I am left wondering where all my money has gone. I don't have any new clothes, I don't have any new movies, and my belly is empty. So why is my bank account empty?? I just found out today that my camera is un-fixable and it would be a waste for me to even pay to get someone to attempt to fix it. The Wolf Camera guy simply advised me to "just buy a new one." Terrific. I have no money and no memories of what I've been doing with my money. Thanks, life.

Back to the Present

Lately, I've been thinking. Which for me, is not a good sign. The way I live my life allows me to not have to think very often, if even at all. But when I do get to thinking, it almost always has to do with just that--my life. I love my life. It's definitely not a perfect life, but I love living it anyways. I laugh a lot in my life, and laughing is one thing that I think most lives lack. Mine is overloaded of laughter. However, is all laughter and no seriousness good for a life? Is all play and no work a successful way to live? Being a college student, "play" is what I spend most of my time doing. My future is just around the corner, and I'm still stuck in a bar or in my pajamas because I'm still not ready to grow up. I want to be in college forever. I go to school during the day. I go out on the town at night. I get $200 a month from my parents, and I make $60 a week at my job. I have no responsibility and no motivation. And I love it. I could do this forever and be perfectly happy. But then there's this little thing called "the future." In the future, I dream of working in the movie industry, living in L.A. in my modern-decorated house, driving my flashy car, wearing some Ray-Bans to match my designer jeans that hug my toned ass. But to me, that future is only a dream. It's not something that will actually happen. I have no future. I don't look in the future because there are too many things that stand in the way of it. I don't know where I'll be in five years because I don't know where I'll be in five days, in five hours, in five minutes. All I'm sure of is what is happening to me now. Where I am now. If we are expected to plan for the future, how do we ever live our lives? Are we supposed to just let the present life pass on by while we hope to reach a successful future? In reality, planning for the future is a waste of time. The world is full of too many obstacles to guarantee us a spot in the future. Tragedy doesn't wait for the future to play itself out before it strikes. Tragedy lives in the moment. And so should we. Right now, I am confident that everything I am doing is exactly what I want to do right this moment. And in the future, I hope I'm still this confident.

"Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on."

We Don't Live Here Anymore

On my last unnecessary excursion to McKay's, I purchased an indie film titled, "We Don't Live Here Anymore." The simple cast of four included Laura Dern, Naomi Watts, Peter Krause, and the sexy Mark Ruffalo. The plot circled around these two couples (Dern & Ruffalo and Watts & Krause) and their intertwined love affairs. As Ruffalo and Watts express their physical lust for each other in secret, Dern and Krause experiment with each others' bodies and emotions as well. Eventually the affairs expand beyond secrecy, and the underlying truths of each failed relationship are revealed. Just as you think you have predicted the demise of the relationships (as well as the plot of the story), Ruffalo decides to stay with his wife and work on rescuing the happiness they once shared. Not only does the movie portray the typical disconnected and disfunctional marriages, but it also brings a new idea to the sorry surface of our current culture--reconciliation. Falling out of love with someone is portrayed as so common and so easy. And if such a thing happens, what are you supposed to do? Pack your bags and say, "Sorry it didn't work out. Have a nice life!"?? This movie gives a different alternative. Love just happens. Keeping that love in tact and in great condition takes a bit of effort. But if done for the right reasons, it's really worth it. I know I'll never get married (mainly to avoid the domestic duties and annoying anniversary celebrations), but I think it might be nice to have a little love to work on. Don't you think?